Quarter Life Musings

Day 1. It’s embarrassing to say that I woke up at 3:30am on Saturday… being excited was an understatement hehehe We got to Galera a little after lunch and didn’t try the waters until late afternoon. Kirs caught the eye of this kargador (he works for a cargo company daw) who came up to us with a friend of his and made small talk. We saw them that night and the following morning and that’s it. Couldn’t care less haha.

I was the last woman standing that night as Kirs and Glady slept in our pigsty of a room at Mindorrine, unmindful that they haven’t showered nor brushed their teeth (ewww…) We had margaritas with our dinner that I didn’t really fancy. Later that night, Tovi, Sir Al and I were sound tripping outside with Tovi’s laptop over beer, and they were asking me to guess the artist and title of the song that was playing.

Day 2. I woke up early and walked around the beach for a while. Was called for breakfast and took pictures. Swam again before we decided to have lunch at Marco Vincent. Can I just say that they have the best kare-kare I’ve ever tasted?! Kaya nga inagawan pa namin si Tovi eh hehehe. I’m still craving for it now :/

Had our second massage for that weekend before we went out for dinner. Traydor ang mindoro sling. I was dancing like a maniac to Ever After and Kirs went straight to the water for a late night dip while I tried to find a seat and keep myself from sleeping on a cement table.

We went back to the hotel to check on sleeping Glady who threw up again (on Tovi’s shirt and clogged the sink and the bits of food I had to take out before anybody could use it… ewww). Kirs was in a troubled state, and I was cold, I wrapped the blanket on my shoulders. While senti music was playing and Tovi was telling us something about some people not being worth it blah blah blah… I found myself bawling my eyes out. All I remembered was I was getting teary eyed about something (I remembered something) and then I had to cover my face with the blanket because I couldn’t stop! Tovi, although sympathetic (he brought out a roll of tissue), couldn’t help but laugh, because Kirs and I seemed to cry together on cue! It was understandable for Kirs to do that but me? They kept asking me the next day why I cried and I just acted like I didn’t hear anything. They said my face was so red that night. From humiliation most probably.

Day 3. I got tired from running around so fast trying to pack my stuff and catching the boat back to Batangas Pier, that I slept more than half the trip. We can’t seem to get over the kare-kare from Marco Vincent that we had to order it for our late lunch at Batangas. Talo :/ Pero winner ang crispy beef ribs. I think my stomach was about to explode right there and then.

In the vicinity of Km 48 at SLEX, a van a few meters ahead of us popped a tire and accelerated toward the island. I thought it was going to stop there but the driver probably swerved it too hard that it spun to almost face us but he went straight to the shoulder. It tipped over and turned over twice. It was like a scary movie to me :/ I saw the driver being shaken like a rag doll. It seemed like the van was full. I don’t think all of them had seatbelts. Sir Al called the ambulance service was traffic became slower and people stopped to help. I just hope that no one died nor hurt seriously. We were all shaken :/

Life is definitely too short to be miserable. You don’t know what will happen to you tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. I might not even live to celebrate my 30th year, who knows?

I had to rewrite this post because Bes says I might regret what I would say. Kaya binura ko na yun. Basta it has something to do with me seeing Sam outside the PBB house. Fara had exclaimed, "WHAT KIND OF SIGN IS THAT?!" (sa YM lang kaya all caps hahaha) but I knew it would be an impossible feat. This pic is courtesy of Nina Ricci, and I have to apologize for cutting her out of the picture. Sowee Nina! I’m sure you’d do the same

It’s funny that I found 4 more Sam shippers in my class last night. And they’ll be my classmates next term. Tama bang magplan na when we’ll watch ASAP to see Sam?! I’m cringing as I write. But it’s a good kind of cringe (is there such a thing?!) hahaha. Later tonight daw our prof will be late due to a thesis proposal defense, I’m still contemplating whether I’ll go to school or just look for decent swimwear. Panic! We’ll just talk about Sam daw while waiting for her. Nyek! But then again I did our homework, it would be a waste naman if they don’t get to hear my ridiculous composition (to the tune of More Today than Yesterday) hehehe…

I just find this song funny and sweet. Bianx, kanta nya ata to sa yo hahaha! Or baka song ko na rin (at least for the chorus) hehehe…

AKIN KA NA LANG (Itchyworms)

‘Wag kang maniwala d’yan di ka n’ya mahal talaga
Sayang lang ang buhay mo kung mapupunta ka lang sa kanya
Iiwanan ka lang n’yan, mag-ingat ka
Dagdag ka lamang sa milyun-milyong babae n’ya

Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang)
Iingatan ko ang puso mo
Akin ka na lang (akin ka na lang)
Wala nang hihigit pa sa ‘yo

‘Di naman ako bolero katulad ng ibang tao
Ang totoo’y pag nandyan ka medyo nabubulol pa nga ako
Malangis lang ang dila n’yan, ‘wag kang madala
Dahan-dahan ka lang, baka pati ika’y mabiktima
(’Wag naman sana)

Di naman sa sinisiraan ko ang pangit na ‘yan
Wag ka dapat sa’kin magduda,
hinding-hindi kita pababayaan!

Akin ka na lang
Liligaya ka sa pag-ibig ko
Akin ka na lang
At wala nang hihigit pa sa ‘yo
Wala nang hihigit pa sa ‘yo (akin ka na lang)

Buti na lang pinatawa rin ako ni John kanina! He texted my 17-year old crush who was his student: "my 25-year old classmate is asking about you…" Loko talaga yun. At talaga bang mag-brag daw si Simon to his classmates that I have a crush on him hahaha!  He was also trying to color my tattoo with a yellow marker in class. Ang kulit, kala mo hindi 35 years old. At least it helped me forget for a short while.

As early as now I know what I want for Christmas. It’s a good thing I know I’ll have money very very soon but I’m not sure how long it’s going to last. If I do buy these (the possible ones of course) I should not be surprised if I’d live on charity again.

1. new Nike trainers and new top/s and/or bottoms (basta marami)
2. 4 Anton Ramos Chillout Project cds: house sessions 1 & 2, acid jazz and sisters of the sun (mura lang to. kayang kaya)
3. an iPod nano
4. a camcorder (the smallest, the better at 5MP)
5. a puppy that stays cute that I can call my own
6. a black Fortuner (mwahahaha)
7. Sam Milby (fine baduy na kung baduy!)
8. a drum set and someone to teach me how to play
9. a genie/fairy godmother to grant me more of my wishes (haha)
10. lastly, world peace…. (who am I kidding?)

Again I’m one of the first to watch the fourth installment at ATC at 11:45 am. Armed with a big bag of Holy Kettle Corn, I went inside just in time to see the trailer of Happy Feet (looks cute, very much like Madagascar).

First scene pa lang kinilabutan na ko. Although it’s been around 2 years since I last read Goblet of Fire, I was able to recognize the scenes and the characters. Daniel Radcliffe was as dashing as ever, and Rupert Grint looked like a rockstar with the hair and the muscles hahaha. But the Weasley twins were so adorable! I would want to go to the Yule Ball with anyone of them hehehe… And Emma Watson was gorgeous! What more pa when she grows up? Katie Leung was charming (si Heart daw ba maging Cho?! Haller!) as well as the one who played Fleur, the Krum and Diggory guys were fit for the role too.

Mike Newell gave justice to the 700+ page book. The special effects were astounding! The dialogues were funny, touching, the kids’ acting had improved, and I got teary eyed during the scene were Amos Diggory was crying over his dead son’s body… You guys watch out for the Yule Ball, World Cup, Triwizard Tournament tasks and the graveyard scenes - did I just enumerate all the scenes in the movie?

Astig si Mad Eye Moody, Barty Crouch Jr, Snape (as always) and Voldemort! Never imagined Voldemort to look like that. Galing talaga ni Ralph Fiennes. Wala. Wala na akong masabi, except that I will definitely watch it again.

Saturday morning my alarm woke me up at 6am. Was still too groggy (got home almost 1am) but I can’t be absent for class. I got up (after pressing the snooze button several times on my phone) and grabbed my towel behind the door. For some reason I thought the door opening was wide enough for me to squeeze through, but no… I hit the side of my eye with such force I think I saw stars. Hahaha ang tanga tanga kasi. Ang sakit tuloy ngayon ng bruise. Good thing it didn’t resemble a black eye. Apparently it happened to my dad din pala one time, he thought he opened the van door wide enough, hindi pa pala. May blood pa daw yung wound nya sa forehead hehehe. It runs in the family Bes says dapat hanggang 3 beers lang talaga ko.

Friday night bes and I met at Glorietta and hung out at Gerry’s Park Square. I was initially planning to go home at 10 pero napasarap lang kwentuhan we ended up leaving before 12 and he ended up bringing me home hehehe. Hyper na daw ako nun I was making too much hand gestures na daw while making kwento. Ang bait bait naman he brought me home pa. Sorry bes, ang layo talaga ng bahay ko. Dapat sa south ka na lang nakatira para mas madalas tayo lumabas

The whole of Thursday and Friday was spent running around Manila Peninsula for an international convention. Had lots fun even if it was tiring because I gained new friends din. There were tons of hotel food I could not resist (chocolate mousse, adobong bulalo, pad thai, etc… basta sobrang sarap!). Kaya tomorrow double effort sa gym.

I wonder if you can get carpal tunnel syndrome from texting. Or is that another muscle group? My right thumb is sore. I’m just milking Globe’s TXTNONSTOP for all it’s worth. I text so fast my phone hangs I can text without looking, I can text with either hands, I can compose 4-part messages without getting tired. I can make kwento about everything that happened last week in one send. Pag sinipag, I don’t use abbreviations. I text when I’m bored, I text when I’m excited… basta pag emotional ako I text hehehe…  I’ve got tons of jokes that I’m sure my friends enjoyed (reklamo pa kayo, e forward din kayo dyan!) In short, I will die without my phone (or I will die without my hands) hehehe… But I’ve managed to leave my phone at home when I go to the gym without twitching

Had arm muscle pains last Wednesday. I played badminton in the morning and looks like I’m getting the hang of it again! Thanks to Micky for bringing back my appreciation for the game. Patay na if I get addicted to this again and I’d eventually want a new racket, badminton shoes and what-have-you. Aaaack! Isa-isa lang!

Harry Potter’s opening on the 16th. Basta first day, first screening. Wala pa sigurong tao sa ATC nun. Who cares kung wala akong kasama. Basta ba I have an armful of Holy Kettle Corn hehehe!

It was Mia’s wedding last Saturday. The occasion’s splashed with contrasting green and orange hues, quite refreshing for a daytime garden wedding. I got there at 7am to be made up. Good thing my dress fit me perfectly even I didn’t go back to fit it after I was measured (sorry Aling Zeny).

The church had its antique charm despite the epitaphs on the walls. Eerie, but still charming The aisle was long and aligned with lilies (were that lilies?). I loved our bouquets I think I looked too chinese that day (even if I’m biologically far from being one). Anyway, Jene was dashing in his barong (naks!), and Mia, my very good friend from high school was really pretty. I had goosebumps when she started walking down the aisle. Made me wonder when and where I’ll get to do that.

The ceremony was pretty short, taking pictures took much longer I think. I told the other bridesmaid Abbie na kinikilig ako as I was observing the newlyweds posing for the cameras. Wala lang, the way he stared at her? *sigh* He looked really happy that she married him. Tama lang naman yun di ba? Made me wonder again who would stand by the altar waiting for me on my wedding day. I should wear waterproof makeup. I’d be crying my eyes out I’m sure

Started thinking about my own entourage. I think I’ve told Cathi it’s pretty sure she’d be my maid of honor. My motif will definitely include silver. Orange is a good color, but by the time I’ll get hitched I don’t know if it’s still a good choice. I would want our vows to be original, and I’m even thinking of putting our vows into song. Dapat yung groom mahilig rin kumanta That would be quite difficult but it would be cool Hoy idea ko to walang gaya-gaya!

I think I’ve said I would want it to be a beach wedding at sunset. Masyadong dramatic, it’s hard to pull off. Logistics pa lang patay na hehehe… Pero kung gugustuhin naman talaga why not? Ang hirap kasi magimagine pag wala pang groom eh! LOL

In life there’s always a fork in the road. One that leads to the left, another to the right. You may have an idea where one leads you, but there are times when you’re left with no clue. You just have to go by your instincts. Do you stay in your job, or do you pack up your bags to follow your dream? Would you join the aerobics class at the gym or stuff yourself with popcorn while watching DVD? Badminton or shopping at 168? Some are choices you make everyday with actually no bearing to next day’s array of choices. But sometimes you have to take your pick and rejoice in (or suffer) the consequences.

It was my choice that I let myself be swayed with something someone told me. It was my choice to call on the phone. It was my choice to insist, to call twice afterwards. But then again, it was his choice to say that he’s out drinking, it was his choice to tell me twice that he’s finishing something at work. It was his choice to tell me that he’ll text when he gets home. It was his choice that he didn’t.

It was my choice to hear out what my good friends think about the whole thing. It was my choice to finally believe that I’m working on a lost cause. It was my choice not to wait for anything last night. It was my choice to realize that this cowardly fag of a man is not worth my time, he doesn’t have the balls to even talk to me.

Choosing is easier said than done. But in most cases, some choices are obviously the wrong ones. And you are probably the lousiest choice I’ve ever made.

The more I say I have erratic behavior the more it is manifested. Just like yesterday. We were in Lipa and had visited this church before driving back home (which I forgot which shrine it is). And you know the saying that when you visit a church for the first time you make a wish? I did. I wished for something I’ve always wanted (and you my dear friends know what it is). I knew I was super OK, I was trying to lay out my plans - again, I’m acting on the premise that life is short and you have to sometimes deviate from what you really are. It’s something totally out of character again (it’s getting more frequent I think I’m morphing already), but I’ve been told that nothing will happen if I don’t act on it. And so I’ve decided I will.

And then I go online and chatted with this old friend and he was telling me this and that. And from the highest level of being OK, I went back to zero, or even negative. Conclusion: I wasn’t really OK. I was just trying to mask it all this time. And I will not permit myself to go on like this til Christmas. I vowed to myself that by Christmastime I will be OK. But at this point when everything is becoming fuzzy once again I don’t think I can manage it.

And so I acted on it. It’s starting to take its toll on my patience and my ego but I will never let this pass. I want to prove how pride is unimportant to me especially when dealing with these things. I’ve gone a long way so why go back pa? I don’t know what this will make me in the long run - a loser? A pathetic woman with an incurable erratic behavior? But I’d rather be that than torment myself with more "what if" scenarios.

And so to you, please wait. After all, it’s been 4 months and you’re still there. I will just have to deal with this excess baggage because I don’t want to drag you down with it. Let me make myself whole first. I need a rock to hit myself with first to wake up from this madness. And I need a new keyboard because the letter M is f*cked up.

Bes, dyan ka lang. Magkukwento pa rin ako sa yo. Alam ko kasi magagalit ka sa kin eh. Pero I just need to do this. Para happy-happy-joy-joy na ko by Christmas. Wag ka mag-alala. Every Wednesdays I’ll always dedicate Paulinho da Costa’s "Real Love" to you. Theme song natin yun. Tapos sasabihin ni Boom, "I haven’t heard the name ‘Doyle’ in a very long time" hahahaha! Pero since every week ko gagawin, masasanay na rin sya