Quarter Life Musings

Enough with things na nagpapainit ng ulo ko, on to one of my guilty pleasures. One thing that revvs me up for the week is Neil’s hiphop class at Slimmers every Monday. Can I just say it’s one of the best experiences ever?  There’s not much grace required in hiphop and that suits me just fine. He’s been teaching us the steps for Akon’s "Smack That" for the last three weeks and I’m getting the hang of it quite well. He’s really good, crush ko na siya hehehe. Of all the workouts I’ve tried, this is probably the best, even if I think I just injured my right index finger from "smacking the floor" too hard kanina hahaha (seriously, it’s swelling, but not as painful as a few hours ago). I can do this every single day, I swear. Wanna see a demo? LOL.

It had been a morning full of rants to Jenny and Ms. Chichi about work-related stuff. I thought I’d never have complaints but I’ve just been bottling them up for the longest time. I dunno if it’s the time of the month or what, I was just rattling off like a machine gun over lunch and afterwards. Don’t get me wrong, I’m genuinely happy with what I’m doing now. It’s just that it’s so frustrating to be under so many limitations that I can only do so much in helping my kids.
Partner, I know you read my blog. I don’t mean you ha. O now you know hehehe She once told us she only sticks to what she has been accustomed to… but that can never fly in a toddler classroom, no matter how flexible she claims herself to be. I’m learning so much in grad school, and it gets to me that I can’t use them because it will always be her last say even if she gives me that much liberty to do my thing because it’s HER class.  Haaaaaaay. I hope I’d be given my own class to lead next schoolyear. I don’t like this!!!!
I can’t get over my frustration lalo na nagpapakaparanoid na naman mom ko. What on earth is she talking about?! Her one-track mind is so irritating, it’s as if I wasn’t her daughter!!! Punyemas talaga. With a pitched voice she was going on and on about being desperate. Since when did that argument of hers become logical?! If it was desperation over the nonexistence of my lovelife that’s controlling me, I would’ve been a total wreck by now. Yes I do feel depressed sometimes, but I’m too busy and ambitious to waste my time on guys that are inconsistent, immature, self-absorbed, irresponsible and commitment-phobic. She keeps on telling me it’s just out there, I don’t need to look for it; but all the more I feel that she’s scared that I’ll end up an old maid. Sheesh. If not having grandchildren bothers her, let my brother get married right away.

Some things to rave about… a few days more til my day! An IMAX appointment for 300 on the 10th. The latest Heroes, Prison Break and Grey’s Anatomy eps. Galera on April 14th. Yahoo!

Friday, my dad visited the PLDT office to sign up for the Plan 888 bundled DSL and landline and was promised installation within 1-2 weeks. Much to our surprise, they called the very next morning to tell us they’ll be coming over in a few hours. By early afternoon of Saturday I was downloading recent eps of Heroes, Prison Break and Grey’s Anatomy all at the same time! Hindi naman ako naexcite masyado noh?
The PLDT rep said our connection was much faster than the average DSL connection, probably because we’re the only ones in our street with high-speed internet. I hope our neighbors won’t bother signing up for this LOL.
Hard to believe how low they’re charging for this bundle - I’m expecting some hidden charges to prop up come billing time. Basta ba walang magnanakaw ng physical lines eh ayos na yun siguro… I thought I’d be able to watch all the Youtube videos that I can but THERE’S NO AUDIO DEVICE CONNECTED, as the Sound Properties dialog box says. Huh?! I consulted several forums which all told me the sound driver maybe corrupted and I had to install an updated one. I attempted to download RealTek v.14 from the motherboard vendor site but there seems to be some incompatibility with Windows Logo (or something) that reformatting may be the only way to go. Yes, the barely alive IT person in me actually researched and downloaded a few programs to test my desktop, all to no avail. Maybe I’m too much of a cheapskate to avail of some PC home service and I would like to see if I’m still smart enough to remedy hardware trouble hehehe…
Err… I’ll make do na lang muna with my Zen to watch the videos and just reformat in the very near future, after this term! Or would you have other ideas I could make use of? Thanks in advance!

This would have been a really bad day had I not watched this movie. A few minutes after class let out, Bianca and I rushed to Cinema 7 of Festival Mall to catch the trailers preceding it. I think we enjoyed it too much that the guys in our row had disappeared in the middle of it hahaha.
Drew, as always, was fantastic through and through. Can’t help thinking she’s my alter ego LOL - she’s a Piscean and had once been on the chubby side. If only I can be literally like her! Was fortunate to catch her on Jay Leno a few days ago, and she was a goddess in an asymmetrical chocolate brown dress! She slimmed down all the more after her breakup with this guy from The Strokes, who I have to say made the biggest mistake he’ll ever make. Sorry, you’re talking to an ultimate Drew fan here.
Anyhoo, Drew was really adorable as Sophie Fisher, Alex Fletcher’s hypochondriac plant lady. She having a flair for words, the good chemistry with Hugh Grant (he’s 47 and still smokin’, and he sang his songs and played keyboards how’s that?), her tasteful outfits (the dark gray shorts, black tights, vest and white shirt under a gray coat? Winner!) and most especially the movie’s 80’s flavor got me totally hooked! For a moment there I thought I was Sophie Fisher the writer who can’t get over her asshole of an ex ***insert knowing laughter from friends*** LOL.
The PoP! MTV was hilarious and the songs are actually good (Love Autopsy, Way Back Into Love, Don’t Write Me Off, Pop! Goes My Heart, Dance with Me), apart from the witty lines, the "Battle of the 80’s Has-Beens", the super funny Rhonda ("Someone could have sculpted us in that time!") and the clueless Indian receptionist. It was feel good and hopeful, a reminder that love can still be found in unlikely places and situations. But then again, they were a gorgeous couple to start with. If I was the substitute plant lady, I would’ve made excuses to keep coming back to his apartment
In case you do find lyrics to their songs, please let me know thanks!

If I caught the Grammy’s last night I would’ve jumped up and down upon hearing John Mayer’s name to receive awards for Best Pop Male Vocal Performance and Best Pop Vocal Album. Woohoo! 2 million pogi points na for him ha! How lucky can a bimbo like Jessica Simpson get? Sigh. Highly recommended album. It might not capture you right away, but John Mayer really knows how to work his magic. You’ll be hooked in no time, avid fan or not

I think I got gas last night from laughing so hard at my friend Pagan’s blog about the best and worst of her dating experiences. Mine absolutely pales in comparison but I’ve had funny and disastrous ones too. I think at this point I can only afford best results hehehe. Am I reaching for the stars here?

I was itching to book a Bora trip last weekend while I was at the travel expo. Anyone wants to come with me? LOL. Pero at this point every peso I have has already been accounted for. The Shanghai trip has been confirmed and my parents already paid for bookings for Bangkok for Holy Week. Jason is inviting for Singapore and hopefully I can visit this year. Naks kala mo naman pang-IT pa sweldo ko LOL.

Food for thought from my friend Emil: "Valentine’s is not only for lovers… but it should also be the time to reflect on our past lovers and hope that they are alive… alone and miserable" Hahaha. Happy Hearts Day tomorrow, everyone!

John Mayer is undeniably one of the geniuses of our generation — not to mention hot, with the unruly hair and intense eyes. Almost pains me to think he’s now singing "Your Body is a Wonderland" to Jessica Simpson. Ugh.
Took me a while to appreciate Continuum because it sounds very different from his first two albums. Some say it didn’t have the same spunk and appeal as that of Room For Squares and Heavier Things, whose lyrics I’ve completely memorized. For me, it all the more showcased his incredible talent, with killer lyrics and a refreshing take on the blues.
I guess I got hooked on him again when he appeared on the pilot episode of CSI Season 7. Catherine and Nick slow danced to Slow Dancing in a Burning Room and from then on, I hardly got enough of it. Much more when I read the lyrics:

It’s not a silly little moment

It’s not the storm before the calm

This is the deep and dyin’ breath of

This love we’ve been workin on

Can’t seem to hold you like I want to

So I can feel you in my arms

Nobody’s gonna come and save you

We pulled too many false alarms

We’re goin down

And you can see it too

We’re goin down

And you know that we’re doomed

My dear

We’re slow dancing in a burning room

I was the one you always dreamed of

You were the one I tried to draw

How dare you say it’s nothing to me

Baby, you’re the only light I ever saw

I make the most of all the sadness

You’ll be a bitch because you can

You try to hit me just to hurt me

So you leave me feelin dirty coz you can’t understand

Yes, this highlighted verse was written para
tamaan ako. This is so me! I can just imagine a certain person singing
this to me LOL…and incidentally the second to the last verse can actually be sung by that same person.
To  you, I don’t know if the whole song is applicable to us since we aren’t even together to break up. Am still waiting for you to give me answers. The last time we talked you even brought more questions. Are you just going to leave this hanging until I finally leave for good?

The rest of the songs just grows on you - The Heart of Life, Gravity, Stop This Train, Belief, In Repair, Waiting on the World to Change, I’m Gonna Find Another You and Bold as Love. My favorites so far are Vultures, Dreaming With A Broken Heart and I Don’t Trust Myself (With Loving You). However, nothing is as poignant, as heartbreaking and as "tagos sa buto" as Split Screen Sadness. It actually made me cry at some point. Now my senti days are just beginning, and he’s again my constant companion.

And I don’t know where you went when you left me but
Says here in the water you must be gone by now
I can tell somehow
One hand on the trigger of a telephone
Wonderin’ when the call comes
Where you say it’s alright
You got your heart right

Maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch ‘till you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight

We share the sadness
Split screen sadness

Two wrongs make it all alright tonight

"All you need is love" is a lie ’cause
We had a love but we still said goodbye
Now we’re tired, battered fighters

And it stings when it nobody’s fault cause there’s
Nothing to blame At the drop of your name
It’s only the air you took and the breath you left

So maybe I’ll sleep inside my coat and
Wait on your porch ’til you come back home
Oh, right
I can’t find a flight
So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right

We share the sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)
Split screen sadness
(two wrongs make it all alright tonight)

I called because
I just need to feel you on the line
Don’t hang up this time
And I know it was me who called it over but
I still wish you’d fought me ‘til your dying day
Don’t let me get away

Cause I can’t wait to figure out what’s wrong with me
So I can say this is the way that I used to be
There’s no substitute for time
Or for the sadness

*sob*

I still have so much to do tonight but I just have to say that it absolutely warms my heart to find out that people you least expect show their appreciation for the supposedly insignificant things you do for them. Kinausap ko lang naman siya hehehe. Gino, I thought I’d cry with your testimonial! Mababaw lang kasi talaga ako. To think we haven’t seen each other in the flesh. Astig noh?
Anyhoo, you’re very much welcome, and thanks for making my day! Ayan friends na talaga tayo LOL. Alam ko na mahal talaga ako ng Diyos dahil binibigyan Niya ako ng mga kaibigang tulad mo

I thought I’d never cry in front of my kids, but I just did! I just realized I’m not a disciplinarian by heart. Corinne was sticking out her tongue at me and when I reprimanded her for it she motioned to hit me with a block. I thought I got the strict-teacher-facial-expression down pat, and I wasn’t even budging even when she was crying and looking for her mom, dad and yaya once after the other. At ewan ko ba naman why I suddenly burst into tears! Unbelievable. But that got her quiet for sure. Took her quite some time to apologize to me, but later on she felt remorse naman (Thank God! Otherwise it’s going to be extra embarrassing for me hahaha) and she offered me a dinosaur who will watch over me, and she got me tissue for me to blow my nose with daw. LOL. I was laughing while sniffling and she kept saying sorry and she won’t do it again daw. Even after romp, she even told her yaya she won’t stick her tongue out again. My crying episode was supposed to be a secret but it was funny she had to tell someone even if it will incriminate her.
Wala lang, I absolutely saw myself in her! Same waistline (when I was her age), same birthday, we’re both Monkeys (we’re 24 years apart), pareho kami ma-pride, pero parehong madaling ma-guilty! Pareho pa ng strategy para bumawi. Nakakatawa. I wonder what she’s telling her mom now? I bet Irene will ask us something about it tomorrow.

Maybe by this time you know that my blog titles that talk about movies I’ve watched are not my own. They’re taglines I get from the IMDB website. So much for thinking I’m a wordsmith LOL. But I’d like to think I am hehehe
A movie addict ought to know that this tagline came from Blood Diamond, which I’ve watched on DVD only last Sunday. Would you find it ridiculous if I say the mountainside scene left me in tears?  Di Caprio was nothing short of captivating - he’s definitely a big star now with his performance, and a very appealing one at that. Tho I could have sworn I saw a bit of the boyish Jack Dawson as he cringed in pain Djimon Honsou (notice how it beautifully rolls on your tongue?) is a force to be reckoned with, and Jennifer Conelly was charming as she was dignified and intelligent. I won’t be surprised if this runs away with the most Oscars.
Sometimes I think ignorance is a passport to happiness. The African villagers couldn’t care less of the diamonds found nearby, they just wanted to be left in peace. The smugglers, rebels and even the soldiers and all those diamond people - do you think they could sleep soundly with the thought of competing with each other for the bigger and more valuable diamonds at the back of their minds?  They say that what you don’t know won’t hurt you, what you’re not aware of, you won’t long for. There are times I wished I knew less, because then I’d not be frustrated with what I have and what I can’t have. I can’t say I’m miserable, but I can be happier, I’m sure you know what I mean… *wink*

As I wait for Buddy’s zip file to download, let me start getting rid of the backlog of blogs for the past week.
I got out of school a few minutes before the bell rang, hoping I’d be on time for the wedding. By 1:30 I was at the neighborhood parlor getting my hair and makeup done - which proved to be a big mistake. I should’ve gone to Tita Brenda instead; I’m sure she would’ve done a better job, it would be free and I wouldn’t have pimples now. Don’t get me started bashing them because I’ll give you a mouthful. But then again I’d rather be quiet because it was my fault that I trusted their services in the first place. And now I know it was a good decision not to rebond my hair.
Anyhoo, the real reason why I was freaking late was my parents. They took their time getting dressed that we ended up leaving the house at 3. My dad had to pay his gas bills at the station in the corner and it was also my fault that I decided to pass through Nichols which I thought was free from traffic. But no…. a good 1 1/2 hours was wasted on that stretch and I ended up arriving at the church at 5, barely catching the couples’ vows. Sorry Jason and Catz, in case you do get to read this, I cannot blatantly blame my parents because I asked them to drive me to the church.
All went well, though Carl was insisting that I owe him Starbucks for reading for me (I was supposed to be a lector, by the way). Rode with Cathi while listening to the Fray as we trudged approaching EDSA cor Shaw, with Lloyd tailing behind in his trusty red 10-year old Polo Classic (since college he was driving it na can you believe it?!) which he says will be replaced by a Fortuner that I must say, will be a much better match for his frame hahaha.
Gosh. I missed the guys and girls so much I wanted to cry when I saw them(of course this was just a thought). It was just like old times…ANG SARAP TUMAWA! Tho Tenten had to say "tama na ang pagbubully, mga 27 na tayo!" well at least for most. We were acting like teenagers sa sobrang kakulitan namin; if it weren’t for the way we looked that night, we’d be mistaken for freshmen. I hope the ones we were seated with and the adjacent tables didn’t find us too rowdy. But who cares?! We won’t see them again anyway.
We parted ways around 10:30, with plans of meeting up again before Mitch leaves for Singapore and my birthday. Only me, Buddy, Vicki and Lloyd were left in the parking. Who would have thought we’d spend almost two hours just reminiscing and laughing at caf get togethers from way back (the fire-in-the-hole hotel at Subic and Caf Survivor series). Get this, Vicki and I were in heels and our shoulders were bare and yet we stood in the biting cold in the Wack Wack Country Club parking until 12:30am. But come to think of it, I didn’t feel tired nor chilly then, maybe I generated enough heat from laughing too hard. Sigh. I hope there would be more reunions like this.

As I waited for the food to be served that night, I looked around the pavilion and realized that I can’t imagine myself at the center of all this attention. Cathi reminded me I once said I’ll be married by 27 and here I am a few weeks before my 27th birthday and not a prospective groom is in sight. Maybe it’s a good thing, because I can barely get myself a laptop, much more spend at least half a million for 300 guests. Would my dad confidently stand in front to offer a toast to us just like what Jason’s dad did? What I’m sure of is that I’ll ruin my makeup from all the crying hehehe.
But if I indeed decide to get married (hopefully by 30), I would want a beach wedding, like what I wrote in my Youngblood article 6 years ago (shoot it’s been that long). My groom would get tears in his eyes and we’d sing our vows to each other. Naks what a tall order hahaha. Then again, I’ll only do this once, so why not make it the best I can?
I wonder what’s on Jason’s and Catz’s minds now. They must be getting ready for their honeymoon in Bali. After all the brouhaha, they’d settle in Singapore and start a new life together. It’s such a grownup idea, and maybe in terms of maturity, I’m still 16. As I wait for the growth spurt, I might as well finish my MA and once I get settled in the US, I might get another degree in Speech Therapy. Strike while the iron is hot, they say. Maybe in the course of all that, I’d meet a groom that fits the bill.