Quarter Life Musings

My eyes are half open - the soup and liempo Sunday lunch left me satisfyingly full, and coupled with a few hours of sleep, I’ll be cooped up in my air-conditioned room in a little while. I’m just waiting for House MD S03E19 to download and I’ll be off to Dreamland. I swear, this will be the last of my puyat days. Otherwise, I’ll come down with a fever by next week.

It had been a great Saturday night, for it had been months since the caf got together for dinner. Unfortunately only about half of the group was there, but I guess we all missed each other that we pushed through with the plan anyway. Tenten picked me up at home, while Buddy and Vicki were looking for Julie’s in Dampa in Macapagal Avenue, contemplating if Claire dela Fuente’s restaurant is any good, or we’d be better off with Charley’s Teppanyaki in Harbour Square.

Ten and I arrived around 8:30 and we decided to settle in the 2nd floor of Dungkaan Restaurant just above the makeshift comedy club with all those screaming fags.
We finished our market trip just before Sidney arrived and Lery arrived just as we started to wolf down garlic shrimps, liempo and baked oysters. The squid? They gave it to another table by mistake! When they replaced it, we were too full to finish even half. The diet? I let it sail past Corregidor for all I care Neil’s going to take care of me tomorrow and Thursday anyway (D-oh! I mentioned him again, rats…)

What else can we do but talk about IT and work (bo-ring!) and of course reminisce about our college days (I think Vicki was a grade schooler then hahaha) that sent us all in stitches. SARAP TALAGA TUMAWA! We’ve been friends for 11 years now and I hope we can still get together like this even in our 40’s or 60’s… Tenten has pics from last night which I still have to grab from her blog.

She took me to Central BBQ at BF around midnight but it was so packed that we found ourselves at Starbucks Franck Provost in ATC because it was the only one open. Throughout the joyride, I updated her of defining moments that transpired since 2005. Marami yon! Now, I no longer have secrets to keep. Over a Java Chip Frap, an Iced Caramel Macchiato and a slice of Sansrival, we mulled over the intricacies and complexities of our 27 years of existence. Was it until 2:30am? In the wee hours of the morning, words exchanged made me awake more than the coffee.

Yes, Tenten. The absence of certain actions do speak volumes. But things only get better and better, and these little improvements only bring excitement for what lies ahead. There are so many things we can still do, and so many things can happen even in the next few days. I’m glad I had this very long and reflective conversation with you, I really needed it. It’s high time I quit cold turkey, and I’m hoping for the best.

…for attempting to slide on the floor as we reviewed the steps. Shoot. And then my left leg cramped that Neil had to help me up (uy kilig hahaha!) Eh pano ba naman, there was another dance class before that. It was a new class and they were trying it out. Kakaiba lang was that Almark used upbeat praise songs! Err I dunno if it will fly, kasi nakakasawa yung steps hehehe. With Neil naman it’s always challenging so even if he extended until 8pm awhile ago, we all didn’t mind. Ouch. It’s painful to bring up my left leg on the chair I’m sitting on

I was reading my past blogs and I’ve found like 10 or more entries mentioning Neil. Exag na to haha! I was staring at him and he looks wrinkled. Hahaha. O sya tama na. Won’t mention Neil again unless it’s VERY necessary hahaha.

Tuesday night I was told our dalmatian Max passed away. It was weird, because he’s always been perfectly healthy. And then Saturday afternoon a stray askal wanders in our property probably searching for water or food. Max may have had a close encounter with him and contracted some virus, because the day after that the askal was seen lifeless on a vacant lot. I think Monday pa lang Max was acting strange, and by Tuesday he was vomiting some weird looking liquid, and then he was gone Sayang talaga. R.I.P. Ishi, who always looked sick, is the one left here. I want to buy another dog nga, but I doubt it if I can take care of it.

Grey’s Anatomy Season 3 Episode 13: Great Expectations

Cristina: I was right. I
swear, I really believe what I did was right. I don’t want you to
forgive me. Frankly, I’d find it patronizing if you did, because while
I know I was right, you think I’m wrong. Which doesn’t matter.
Because… I’m in this. I’m in this for the long haul. And I’m in this
to finish the race. So if that means that I don’t win this one, then
fine, I don’t win. I’m talking. See? I’m talking first. You win.

Burke: Marry me.

Sit down, give me your hand
I’m gonna tell you the future
I see you, living happily
With somebody who really suits ya
Someone like me

Stand still. Breath in
Are you listening?

You don’t know
Somebody’s aching. Keeping it all in
Somebody won’t let go of his heart
But the truth is it’s painless
Letting your love show

Break down. Give me some time
I don’t want the fear to confuse ya
Right now, it’s so wrong
But maybe it’s all in the future
With someone like you

Stand still. Breath in
Are you listening?

You don’t know
Somebody’s aching. Keeping it all in
Somebody won’t let go of his heart
But the truth is it’s painless
Letting your love show

Maybe truth, maybe lies
Made me want you
Maybe dumb, maybe wise…?
I don’t know

Somebody’s aching. Keeping it all in
Somebody won’t let go of his heart
But the truth is it’s painless
Letting your love show
You don’t know
Somebody’s hurting. Holding it all in
Somebody can’t let go of his heart
But the truth is it’s painless
Letting your love show

I’ve been online for the last 4 hours or so, and it seems my butt has grown roots in this gray swivel chair. On the side table on my right are 2 empty glasses and a bottle of juice. My dinner was a cob of sweet corn, and a handful of really spicy squid we bought in Bangkok. It’s a Friday night and I’m cooped up at home doing research for the summer curriculum. Pathetic, but I chose to do so BECAUSE I CAN HARDLY MOVE! Simple acts of walking or stretching my arms or legs make me cringe. Pain shoots from my chest, to my wrist, all the way down to my back, and my thigh muscles feel like lead. I think I’ve had too much of an upper body workout (dude, 3 hours ba naman waiting for the 630 class) coupled with the maarte jazz choreography with all the turns and the sliding on the floor… can you actually imagine me doing that? Ako rin eh! Hahaha! But I did, really. After hitting the blond woman next to me several times on the chest (I’m sorry!), I kinda memorized the steps to Wait a Minute by the Pussycat Dolls and Timbaland. I thought my lungs would burst with fatigue. BUT I LOVED IT! I don’t think I’ll stop doing this. All for you, Neil! Hahahaha. The tempo’s too fast I can barely catch up, and I’m going to practice later when everybody is asleep

I was going through the day trying to make do with the minimum of movements but my brain’s on overdrive, contemplating about recent events. I know there’s a more mature way of handling things but I’m still wary if I’m capable of doing so. Honestly, it came to a point where I want to see how hard I can slap someone, but just like any other bouts of rage, it dies down after a good night’s sleep… and some chocolates hehehe. I know that physical and/or verbal violence is very unnecessary and will only make it worse, and that talking is the best thing that could happen because it’s the proper thing to do. When everything’s ready, it’ll happen. After all, what more have I to lose?

You might have noticed why my blogs are all about the mundane and the you-couldn’t-care-less aspects of my life and I don’t write about politics, the environment, the recent killing frenzy in Virginia Tech or even showbiz. Heck, I haven’t read the newspaper for about a month now! I’m just relying on second-hand kwentos (Thanks, Sir Al). Natural, BLOG KO TO EH! Hahaha. Wag magbasa ang hindi entertained or curious

Good mood? Definitely! Nagdate na naman kami ni Neil… now I know why I shouldn’t schedule any gimmick every Thursdays… and Mondays… Never have I enjoyed any physical activity more than this. NOW WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! Of course I’m talking about Street Jazz! Pag Mondays, Hiphop. Tonight’s class really takes the cake. I was soaked like I had been thrown in a pool. I’m still catching my breath now (serious!) at patay ako bukas sa muscle pain.  Jenx, mahal ko na talaga si Neil hahaha. Dapat pumayat na ko talaga sa kakaganito ko. Kaya Jay sali na! I’ll be expecting you to join me… at sabay na rin tayo magdriving lessons before summer ends

I just finished episode 15 of House MD Season 3, the one where Dave Matthews guested. Never really paid attention to how he looked like, but he’s cute pala! In a teddy-bear kind of way. Haha. Is Hugh Laurie a piano player in real life? Galing ng episode na to eh. Made me want to take piano lessons again even if I feel I really have no talent for it. Mas may talent pa ata akong makipaglokohan eh! Haha. Would’ve been great if I can compose my own music.

And House faking cancer to get high? I think I’m pretty much stable not to resort to that. I really don’t get why people would rather wallow in misery when there are so many reasons to be happy. Hey, wait a minute… pinapatamaan ba ko ng episode na to?! Haha.

Friday (or Saturday morning), I finished Episodes 21 and 22 of Prison Break’s Season 2. Waaaaah! Can’t say anymore because Gino will never forgive me for that haha. May twist every five minutes ata, I swear! And the season finale will be on Monday na ….can’t wait!

Heroes will resume on the 23rd and I think I have to watch the last few episodes again. Grey’s Anatomy will have a new episode on Thursday. I watched Jericho’s pilot episode this weekend (as recommended by Tovi), and I have to say it’s around the same caliber as Heroes. Another good reason to watch it is Skeet Ulrich from Scream fame.

Thanks to my trusty Zen, I can watch all these anytime, anywhere!

That’s our new little Princess Catalina! Here she is with another Japanese character, Sota. This will be one of the many pictures I will take of her during the summer. I can go on and on about her, and if only I can take a video of her bunny impersonation! For a moment there she has outshone Renee, really. Gosh I can’t wait for Joaquin to arrive! Sobrang riot na yun. I will be uploading the kids’ pics in the next few days so you’ll know who am I talking about. The kids never fail to make my day, my week, my month, my year. Siguro kahit suicidal na ko, matatawa pa rin ako sa mga hirit nila. "Will I get in trouble for this?" with the big brown eyes

I had several moments of deep thought on my way to the bank and back to the mall. I remember the movies Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and 50 First Dates where they attempted to erase memories. Sometimes I think it’s best to throw away the good memories together with the bad ones and start with a fresh, clean slate. What will the good memories be for, anyway? Normally, I possess a cheerful disposition and never really regretted my decisions.. but now? I guess I’m just not in the mood to speak of silver linings and rainbows. Just too overrated. Ask me again after I get back from Bora a few weeks from now. I need a combination of sun, sand and sunblock to get me back on track.

After a really tiring Sunday, I woke up at 2am with everything so still you could hear a pin drop. I knew I had my fan programmed to turn on when the aircon stops and when I checked it, it was on. Nothing came out. Punyeta. Talagang the electricity had to give up on us on the first day of summer school! I grabbed anything that I could fan myself with (which turned out to be Fara’s Veronica Mars DVD-9) and tried to go back to sleep. Who could, with the almost-fatal humidity. Punyeta talaga. I managed to wake myself up at 630 and trudged to the bathroom on the first floor, forgetting about breakfast. Good thing my mom prepared pasta for our lunch (surprising after her menopausal bout last Saturday) that I just had to put it in my bag.
I was quite nervous about Circle with the Crystals class, good thing they were all steady, even Joey and Hyo Eun. Ryoma was still clingy with the mom, but hopefully he’ll warm up tomorrow. It was pretty manageable; at least I had the kids to think about lest my mind wanders about things that I’d rather not think about… forever hehehe.
Joaquin didn’t come to school, but somebody new captured our hearts… Catalina Kirley. Oh my god, my future daughter better look like her! You could actually drown in those big brown eyes of hers. Definitely the same level of cuteness as Renee’s. I’ll post a picture of them both and you be the judge.
Mondays are always anticipated because of Neil’s hiphop class. He makes my week. Love ko na talaga sya *sigh*. Gwapo na, sobrang galing at sobrang nice pa. We actually finished the choreography to "Give It To Me" by Nelly Furtado, Timbaland and Justin Timberlake (which incidentally became number 1 in the Billboard Top 100). Astig talaga. Nagovertime nga til 330 eh. I’m contemplating of joining the Street Jazz class on Thursday at 630.
I’m actually very tired now, and most likely I’ll be sleeping early.

Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can’t explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don’t want to need at all.

The walls start breathing
My mind’s unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.

A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can’t explain what you can’t explain.
You’re finding things that you didn’t know
I look at you with such disdain

The walls start breathing
My mind’s unweaving
Maybe it’s best you leave me alone.
A weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won’t make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

Now I’m on my own side
It’s better than being on your side
It’s my fault when you’re blind
It’s better that I see it through your eyes
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you’re the first to know

When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won’t make this right
It’s too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.

I find myself in the very same church where I sought refuge not too long ago. I was blinking back tears and realized that by looking up to the image of Christ made of stained glass, I could hide them from my brother and the rest of the crowd. It’s been a while since this happened, when my tired eyes can barely hold back the wave from my tearducts. I wonder when it will stop. I won’t question, just give me strength please. I’ll be OK.

Saturday was a free day for shopping and we literally combed the Pratunam district for good bargains. Nagka vertigo ata ako sa dami ng tao, dami ng bargain, dami ng dala ko hahaha. Platinum Mall has great finds too, at wholesale prices. Kelangan magpigil! Grabbed lunch at the food court and inubos namin yung 500baht worth ng cashcard. Sarap na rin, but I particularly liked the Thai crispy crepe with coconut and ginger. We bought a really cheap but sturdy suitcase for all our purchases na himala at nagkasya! We bought sampaloc and dried fruits as if there’s no tomorrow.

Ate dinner at a nearby restaurant and we waited a long time for the shuttle to arrive. Sobrang hassle yung flight… 1:30am would you believe? Kulang na lang mag tong-its at pusoy kami dun sa waiting area. Just the same, sobrang uncomfortable but at least they had the decency to dim the lights. We were given the immigration card and hindi ko nakaya magsulat dahil sa antok hehehe. Touchdown was around 5am and I knew my hair was a mess but i didn’t care. Arrived at around 8am with all the waiting. Had to read for the 1030am mass and wasn’t able to sleep until 3pm I think. Since then my sleeping habits had been a mess, and now ko lang naaayos because term 3 is now over! Yahoo!

View my Thailand pics!